I felt misunderstood for a long time. Sometimes I still feel like an alien…
I think I was having a hard time understanding and accepting myself.
« Know thyself » : the first time I heard about this phrase was when I started learning about Socrates in my philosophy class in high school. I was 17 years-old. My understanding of that sentence then is far from the understanding I have of it now. And I would never have imagined that getting to know myself would take so long.
I am still getting to know myself; everyday I find out some new things about myself, some beliefs, some fears, etc. The more I dig in, though, the more I can understand and the more I can accept. The more I can accept myself, the more I can show up as I am in front of other people. The more I do that, the more I feel understood, and the better I feel. I feel I belong. I feel I have purpose. I feel joy.
So many of us feel like nobody understands us, especially when we are having a rough time. We can get overwhelmed by our emotions. We feel isolated. We feel we are the only person in the world going through whatever we are going through. I have been there. I see many patients who feel this way. Suffering becomes unbearable. But often it’s because we cannot put words on what we are going through that we feel even more misunderstood. We stop communicating. We want to be left alone and curl up in a corner, maybe we even want to die. But by doing that, we then feel even lonelier and we would like somebody to come and rescue us, take us out of the misery. But nobody is coming. And even if somebody did, we are not sure they will understand us.
So we go around in circle… To break this circle, dig in. Get in touch with your pain, your suffering, acknowledge it in your body. Let it breathe and go everywhere inside you. Accept it fully. Be with it. Stay with it for a while. Truly. Stop rejecting it. By rejecting it you are rejecting yourself. Observe it. Embrace it. Yes it’s hard. Yes it sucks! But you know it’s temporary. Listen carefully and do what your body needs to do. It will start passing and changing only if you stop and accept it fully.
Once you have acknowledged and accepted you can start talking about it. It can be with your friends, with your therapist, with strangers, with all the above. Just get it out. You will be surprised how many other people have been hiding their true suffering and also feel there is nobody else out there suffering like they are. And even if they are not suffering now, they might have in the past, and they didn’t share it with you either: it might have been cancer, depression, anything else.
Everybody is wearing a mask. Some people wear a mask all the time with everybody. Some people wear a mask only at work. Some people are trying to remove the mask a little bit more everyday. We are all scared. We are all alone. Yet when you start sharing who you really are and what you are really feeling, you are not alone anymore! Take responsibility, open the door, share your feelings. The more you do that, the more you will feel understood, and the better you will feel. You will feel you belong. You will feel you have purpose. You will feel joy.
About the author :
Trained in coaching, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), energy and psycho-energetic therapies, mindfulness meditation, integrative community therapy and laughter yoga, Sylvie Meynier has been an instructor for adults for 15 years and coach for 6 years. She is dedicated to helping people realize their dreams by working on all levels: physical, mental, emotional, energetic and spiritual. Sylvie is convinced that everyone has talent and should have the opportunity to shine their light!
Her company Laughing Butterfly is a metaphor for transformation, which, though sometimes difficult, can also be done in joy and lightness.